Happy Birthday

Happy birthday, You. Congratulations
On a new year of needless fretting and trepidation,
On twelve new months brimming over
With conflicting desires and gratuitous agitation,
On three hundred sixty-five days
Of industrious navel-gazing and faulty penetration,
And eight thousand seven hundred sixty hours of continuous brooding
And those recurrent fits of quasi-revelations.

You will never grow up, never ever. Happy birthday, Me. Congratulations.